My Birth Story | Dallas, TX | A Happy Hospital Birth Story

I am typically a pretty private person, so it is out of character for me to share something as personal as a birth story with the whole world. But I had a wonderful birth in the hospital and I know (from experience) that moms-to-be just aren’t hearing enough positive birth stories. For some reason, anytime someone finds out you are pregnant, they dive into their best friend’s aunt’s sister-in-law’s horror story of a birth. Why? Who could ever think that would be productive or helpful!? So here it is – the most joyous moment of my life so far (rivaled only by my wedding day).

It was February 7 – I got up in the middle of the night to use the restroom (just like every other night for the past 9 months!) around 1:45am. When I sat down, I felt a “pop” in my belly that I didn’t think much of. Once I had finished, I continued to leak fluid. I sat there for about 10 mins trying to convince myself that I wasn’t really in labor (I hadn’t had any contractions!), but I finally decided that my water had broken. I woke Daniel up to tell him that my water had broken and almost immediately started crying. He gave me a giant hug, we prayed together, and he jumped into action. He hopped in the shower while I called Dr. Woods.

I cried as I told her that I thought my water had broken and she just said, “Labor and Delivery”. I said, “Are you sure?” and she again responded “Yep, Labor and Delivery.” She had told me at the last appointment to head to the hospital as soon as my water broke, but I had anticipated laboring at home with contractions for awhile, so it took me by surprise.

I had our bags packed, but they weren’t in the car yet, so I grabbed the last few items and Daniel loaded the car. It had snowed the day before, so the roads were a little slick and we didn’t take the highway. I started feeling minor contractions on the way to the hospital, but I could still talk through them. Daniel and I were still laughing and making jokes. He was quoting Bill Cosby’s stand up routine about delivering a baby. I told him that he wouldn’t be allowed to quote that anymore once serious contractions started or he may get glared at. We talked for a few minutes about the day we found out we were expecting and when we found out the baby was a girl. It was our last car ride as a family of two. In the midst of the excitement, I treasured that ride.

We arrived at the Emergency Room in Texas Health Presbyterian Hospital in Plano around 2:30am and were admitted into labor and delivery. Everyone commented on how much stuff we had brought, but I wanted to be prepared! They had me change into the “beautiful” hospital gown and get in bed. I was in bed for a LONG time while our nurse, Allison, asked me a million questions. I told her that I wanted to try for a natural birth. She hooked up my IV, which hurt quite a bit, and my contractions started getting much stronger while she was asking questions. She also hooked me up to the fetal heart rate monitor and contraction monitor.

She tested to see if my water had broken and the test came negative. I immediately started to panic that I was wrong about being in labor and that they would send me home. Pride is a funny thing isn’t it? Here I am just hours away from having a baby, and I’m still worried about looking foolish and being wrong. The nurse called for a lab test to double check my water, then she gave me a vaginal exam. She determined I was 4cm dilated and 60% effaced. She also determined that my water had definitely ruptured and she didn’t need to send the swab down for testing.

At this point I was getting extremely uncomfortable in bed. I knew from our Birthing Classes that they had birthing balls available, so I asked for one. I went to the bathroom and started having very strong contractions. I labored on the ball for about an hour and a half. Daniel talked to me, affirming me and being so kind. I thought I had a handle on it, so I told him to try to get some sleep. He turned on Project Runway for me and tried to sleep, but he only got to lay down for about 30 minutes when I had several really difficult contractions and I began to feel out of control.

My contractions were about 2-3 minutes apart and incredibly painful, so I labored through a few more and contemplated the epidural. I finally decided to go ahead with the epidural and Daniel went to find our nurse. I started crying because I was feeling very overwhelmed and scared to get the epidural. I was also a little disappointed in myself because it made me feel weak. I had also been up for 5 hours at this point (it was about 6:00 am), so that probably didn’t help anything!

Allison came in and did a vaginal exam – I was dilated to 6cm and 70% effaced. She told me not to be overwhelmed, explained what would happen with the epidural and made sure I really wanted one. I said I did and she called it in. The anesthesiologist came very quickly and began setting up while Allison and Daniel talked to me and tried to calm me down and help me relax. She was very good at her job. The worst part was the pressure I felt in my bottom. After I received the epidural, I still had a few rough contractions that I could feel, but then my legs began to get heavy and the pain started to numb. 

I worked hard before the birth to make sure I hadn’t set a lot of expectations for myself. My goal was to have a healthy baby, it was not to prove anything to anyone…not even to myself. Of course, I’m human and I did set unrealistic expectations. Even though I knew in my head that it was a possibility, I was so disappointed with myself for wanting an epidural. I sobbed as my husband got the nurse and I kept sobbing when the technician came and asked her long list of questions. As the technician was setting up her equipment, the nurse grabbed both of my shoulders, looked me in the eyes, and said, “You’re going to be fine. You could have called me earlier. You have nothing to prove and you never have to let the pain get out of control.” It was at that moment that I realized she was right. I didn’t have to be brave or proud – this wasn’t about me. As long as our little girl came, it didn’t really matter how.

After I had the epidural, my attitude about the whole experience shifted. Suddenly the heaviness of the decision to have an epidural was lifted and there was a huge weight off my shoulders. The nurse let us know that I was getting close and that I should try to get some rest. She moved me into a side-lying position. Daniel and I cracked a few jokes (can you tell how much I loved my epidural!?) before I finally got comfortable enough to fall asleep for a few hours.

I slept until Dr. Woods came in for her morning rounds around 8:00 am. At this point, I was 8cm dilated, 90% effaced and the baby had moved into the birth canal (+1). The nurses had also changed shifts, so we had a new nurse, Stephanie. Dr. Woods decided to let me labor for a bit because my body was doing well on its own. If there was no change in awhile, Stephanie should start me on pitocin.

I didn’t tell anyone, but I started to get pretty nervous because I was feeling comfortable at this point and delivery was such an unknown feeling. In my head, I thought “Just let me labor for a long time – this isn’t bad!” I tried to be courageous and just listen to what the nurses were telling me. When Dr. Woods left, Stephanie put me into ‘runner’s position’ to help the baby continue to move down and I stayed there until it was time to push.

Around 10:00am, Stephanie came back in to check on me and I was 10cm dilated and completely effaced – it was time to push! She got the room set up, which probably only took about five minutes, but it felt like it took hours. I wasn’t in any pain, but I could feel the pressure of contractions if I was paying attention. I was anxious to begin pushing once she told me I was ready!

I had been telling myself that I was going to be excellent at pushing. She said we wouldn’t call Dr. Woods until the baby was crowning. She put my legs in the stirrups and Daniel went into game mode. He held my leg in one hand and my hand in the other. The nurse held the other leg and she told me we would practice pushing during this next contraction. She told me to take a deep breath and then push as hard as possible. I also remembered from my Lamaze class that it would help if I pushed with the muscles around my diaphragm and abdomen and relaxed the muscles in my bottom. I bared down and pushed with everything I could – I did NOT want to be doing this for long!

I got three good pushes in during that first practice contraction. We waited until the next contraction started and I pushed with every ounce of strength I had I three times. Daniel looked at me with tears in his eyes and said “I can see her head – she has a lot of hair!” Stephanie then told me I needed to stop pushing because the baby was on her way – she needed to call Dr. Woods!

This felt like the longest wait of my life and may have been the most painful part of delivery. The pressure was intense. She kept telling me it was a good thing because it allowed me to stretch out, lowering my chances of an episiotomy. Dr. Woods FINALLY arrived (after probably another 5 minutes), Stephanie filled her in and she sat down to catch the baby. I pushed 2 times through one more contraction and I felt her head come out. I started crying from joy. Then I pushed again and I felt the rest of the body slide out. It was such a surreal feeling!

Dr. Woods immediately placed her on my chest while she stitched me up and I started really bawling. I just kept repeating “She’s so beautiful! She’s so beautiful!” And she was. Truly the most incredible thing I had ever seen – I instantly fell head over heels in love with this little girl. Everyone asked what her name was and Daniel looked at me and proudly said “This is Elli Danielle Harney”. Everyone “ooh-ed” and “ahh-ed” over her name and they took her to clean her up a bit, get her length and weight, and put on her diaper and cap. Then they put her on my chest and everyone started clearing out of the room.

We were able to have her skin-to-skin for almost two hours, which was such a precious time! Labor and delivery was nothing like I imagined, but it was a really perfect experience. Words could never express the amount of emotion that was contained in that nine hour period – anxiety, waiting, fear, longing, hesitation, uncertainty, pain – but ultimately the emotion that overtook all others was pure, complete joy. 

I never imagined sharing this story, but there is something incredibly beautiful about the birthing process. Through this pain and suffering, I was able to become a mom, which had been a desire of my heart for as long as I can remember. There are so many things the world can use to scare moms-to-be or make them feel inadequate or wrong for the choices they make while delivering their babies. If the baby is able to come into this world, it doesn’t matter how it gets here. Just because I had an epidural and a hospital birth doesn’t mean that I didn’t do it the “right” way or that it was “unnatural”. If a mom needs a c-section or medical intervention it doesn’t mean that she is somehow less of a woman or that she failed. We all did whatever it took to bring our babies into this world and that’s what matters. That’s part of what makes us moms.

So I hope that you can see that as crazy as it may sound, I loved my birthing experience. My pregnancy leading up to this story was one of the hardest things I have ever experienced, only topped by the overwhelming responsibility and utter exhaustion that followed after we got home from the hospital. But the birth? This birth story is one of celebration. I have no regrets and I wouldn’t change a single thing. To me, it is a triumph of the spirit and a treasure that I will hold closely to my heart as my very first experience with my daughter. 

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